I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize