She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
