So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
