Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
