you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
