At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
