I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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