farters have to be the big spoon...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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