hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
