worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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