And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My friends, they love my intelligence
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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