So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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