I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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