my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
This is my gift to your gina
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
