some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
