could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
