I'm eating all of the evidence.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The adults are the big ones right?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
