mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
