So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize