Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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