Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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