Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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