hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
