I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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