am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
