Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
