I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
