and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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