It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
They have beer where we have blood.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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