Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
