why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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