That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
