I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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