matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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