Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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