I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
