You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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