i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
