when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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