he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
