so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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