He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
should my penis look like a turkey
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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