I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize