I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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