There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he shaved USA in his pubs
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
