im drinking this country out of the recession.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i now understand why vodka
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
