why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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