If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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