so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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