capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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