Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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