nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
