I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
