This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
