Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
