She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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