The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
