think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
