I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
