her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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