I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
