I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize