don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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