I heard we made out
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
