What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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