she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
